A Minecraft Movie (2025): Movie Review

In the end, we are all Steve

For the uninitiated, in 2011 there was a little game that took the world by storm and is currently, the best selling game of all time that exists on literally every single platform imaginable, Minecraft. And in a world where films like The Super Mario Bros Movie make 1.3 Billion dollars, a film adaptation of the game was always inevitable. However, I don’t think a single soul expected it to look quite like this. Walking into my showing for A Minecraft Movie proved to be a somewhat fascinating task because on one hand, I was walking in knowing that it was likely going to be appalling on nearly every level from what the trailers seemed to indicate, but on the other hand seeing all the insane reactions to the film and how bizarrely bad it looked did peak my curiosity so it really wasn’t a question of is the movie going to be bad and more of, will I enjoy how bad it is, Director Jared Hess after all has had success with off brand humor before (Nacho Libre, Napoleon Dynamite). So to answer the question of whether I enjoyed how bad the film was, that answer is Yes, and No.

When the film first started (not counting like the first 5 minutes of exposition lol) and we were on earth getting acquainted with the cast of characters the film introduced me too like Garrett ‘The Garbage Man” (Jason Mamoa), Henry and his sister Natalie (Sebastian Eugene Hansen, and Emma Myers), and Dawn (Danielle Brooks) I wasn’t necessarily feeling that the film was of quality in anyway as most of these characters feel virtually desolate as people you are supposed to care for in the narrative, but I could feel just a tad bit of the energy that Napoleon Dynamite gives in its off beat but signature feel of warmth and humor that I think is nice for children of this generation to experience, at least until they enter the OVERWORLD and meet STEVE (Jack Black) is truly when the awful desperation and “slop” of it all made me sink in my seat. Many have already joked about the fact that a film supposedly about being creative like almost any kind of creativity but I was also mostly shocked how much of a slog it was to the point where the cast couldn’t remotely save any of this material it genuinely felt like the pure definition of my body rotting in full time as I was watching what was on the screen. I do think however that Jennifer Coolidge’s subplot of falling in love with the random villager contained pretty much any of the truly humorous bits to be had in this. It truly felt like a hodgepodge of emptiness at its end but there was at the very least a singular silver lining. The audience experience. 

Yes, despite the more grating than normal Jack Black performance and the utter hollowness of the film as a whole, I likely would have enjoyed the film even less if I experienced it alone. Seemingly every moment of the film where there was a famous “meme moment” or a reference to the titular game, some I recognized, most I did not, my audience erupted like a volcano, it was like what I imagine watching a crowd pleaser midnight madness film at tiff is like except pure chaos when Jack Black says “Chicken Jockey.” While it speaks obviously to who these film are really made for at the end of the day, it really reminded me of my experience with the Five nights at Freddy's movie in cinemas, which is also a atrocious picture but admittedly, there is somewhat of a sense of more enjoyment that I wouldn’t have had otherwise if I did not have that experience even if it probably doesn’t signify the best state of what movies will soon become if everyone and their mother wants to try their own “how do you do fellow kids.” thing with another video game. 

So, in the end, what is there to be learned from this venture? One could say that this film represents the never ending fall we are having towards every film people feel the need to only see in a theater is something like this which is the lowest common denominator for children’s entertainment today yes, but I see it as………….. wait no I also see it as that actually but ya know what, even with how bad it was the movie could have been even worse realistically and I am pretty happy that it wasn't (mostly) (even though its still really bad). 

1.5/5 Stars

Anyways, see ya for a new round of movies to talk about on the weekly round up probably next week!